Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Daily Show Rolls End Credits for Bush Admin

As we fade to black on George W. Bush's reign over America (written and directed by Karl Rove), it's time to roll the final credits. And The Daily Show was kind enough to provide them for us all.



WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY
Karl Rove
CAST
IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE:
DECIDER
George W. Bush
ACTUAL PRESIDENT
Richard Cheney
MR. CHENEY'S ATTEMPTS AT HUMAN EMOTION BY
Industrial Light & Magic
DECIDER'S WIFE
Laura Bush
DECIDER'S ACTUAL WIFE
Condoleezza Rice
THE SUPREME COURT
John Roberts
Samuel Alito
Clarence Thomas
Antonin Scalia
Anthony Kennedy
William Rehnquist
Sandra Day O'Connor
and some other people who don't matter
PROP MASTER
Gen. Colin Powell
EVILDOER
Osama Bin Laden
MR. BIN LADEN'S STAND-IN
Saddam Hussein
GUANTANAMO DETAINEES
(censored)
HECKUVA-JOB DOER
Mike Brown
BEST BOY
Gen. David Petraeus
WORST BOY
Richard Clarke
IRAQI LOCATION TEAM
SECOND UNIT DIRECTOR
Donald Rumsfeld
LOCATION SCOUT
Paul Wolfowitz
IRAQI EXTRA CASTING
Paul Bremer
ABU GHRAIB SEQUENCES DIRECTED BY
Donald Rumsfeld
a few bad apples
GUANTANAMO BAY SEQUENCES DIRECTED BY
Dick Cheney
a few other bad apples
JOHN BOLTON'S MOUSTACHE WRANGLER
John Bolton
UNIT PUBLICISTS
Sean Hannity
Steve Doocy
Bill O'Reilly
Brian Kilmeade
Greta Van Susteren
Glenn Beck
UNDERCOVER C.I.A. AGENT
Valerie Plame
Oops, sorry. Forget we mentioned it.
STENOGRAPHER
Judith Miller
SCAPEGOAT PROVIDED BY
I.    Lewis Libby
SHRAPNEL COLLECTOR
Harry Whittington
REPORTERS
Stretch
Super-Stretch
Little Stretch
Hammy
Slick
Tiny
Ox
Moose
Helen Thomas
COALITION OF THE WILLING
England
Australia
Estonia
Lithuania
Slovakia
Tonga
COALITION OF THE UNWILLING
Everybody else
POOTY-POOT
Vladimir Putin
EXECUTIVE BOOB-COVERER
John Ashcroft
RICH UNCLE PENNYBAGS
Henry Paulson
CHIEF OF STUFF
Joshua Bolten
THE TRUTH SQUAD
Ari Fleischer
Scott McClellan
Dana Perino
Tony Snow
SWEAT HOG (UNCREDITED)
Scott McClellan
KEY GRIP
Lynndie England
PROMOTIONAL CONSIDERATIONS PAID BY
Haliburton
ADDITIONAL DIALOGUE
Roger Ailes
GAFFER
Douglas Feith
SONGS:
"(I Don't Recall) Remembering to Recall"
WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY
Alberto Gonzales
"Let the Eagle Soar"
WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY
John Ashcroft
"I am the Decider"
WRITTEN BY
Karl Rove
PERFORMED BY
George W. Bush
SOUNDTRACK AVAILABLE:
Inside your head for the rest of your life.

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