Monday, September 24, 2007

shouts! cool new digg feature or fruit of the pointy ear'd freak?

Please fix your blurry avatar I keep thinking
I'm going blind

It cracks me up how courteous and polite people are when asking you to digg their story using the new shout feature.

"check this out, I know you'll like it" or "If it's not a bother and you have time... please enjoy this" or "Ran across this and thought it might really interest you" etc

Come on!!!! I really don't think there is polite way to pimp your story. wink... wink... nudge... nudge

Guilty of being slightly disingenuous??? CAAAAA CHOW!!!!! But i 2 was lured to the digg tree of fruity goodness and evil-tee... and tempted... and ate of it... and I did revel in it....... until today.

But I have to ask... why be shy about it? Why act like there is really any other motive you have in mind other than a blatant diggin' desire to pimp the living sh*t out of your submission for just 'one' more digg? The many... the one... the digg

Spock:The Kobayashi Rose Maru digg algorithm scenario frequently wreaks havoc on students and server equipment. As I recall you front paged three times yourself. Your final solution was, shall we say, unique?

Kirk: It had the virtue of never having been tried.

Here is my top eleven list of straight to the point 'shouts'
feel free to add your own

Disclaimer: Some may or may not apply to the more or less obsessed faction at our beloved

1. DIGG THIS NOW! (no nonsense request)

2. Help... I need a digg reallll bad. I'm joneszing man. I haven't had a digg in three hours and I'm sitting on a f*cking gold mine on page 1 of the upcoming section (in need of 12 step intervention digger)

3. Digg this so my wife/girlfriend will leave me! (pleading may be inaccurate do to fact potential digger is totally lying and alledged "wife/girlfriend" never existed)

4.Digg this or my wife/girlfriend is going to leave me. (sympathy digg request may be inaccurate do to fact potential digger is totally lying their ass off and "wife/girlfriend" is actually stuck between pages 34-35 of Maxim)

5. Digg this so I can get a wife/girlfriend (Russian Bride is in the mail)

6. Hooray Diggers! Digg this up! My wife/husband just left me cuz I spend all my time on digg! (potentially very accurate)

7. Digg this or I'll report your profile activity to Tom on Myspace

8. Hi! I'm noobs and I was wundering if youd would bee kind to enough diggg this because cousin my Father Prinze Zimmbambookoo of the small toewnship of bullshitiohaga in Northurn Nigeria has a swuss bank accunt wid a zillion dullards in it.... (future of shout @ digg?)

9.Digg if your horny (breaks new digg record and is front paged in 3.14 seconds)

10. Help I'm on fire! Please digg this so I can exponentially increase the chances of some total online stranger calling the fire department and rescuing me. (dumb ass)

11.Digg me and I'll hump your leg (most likely scenario for abuse)

Is there potential for spam shout abuse? Sure there is!

but I think Kirk and Spock sum it up best... the one digg.. the many...

Kirk: Spock.

Spock: Digg... out of danger of shout spam?

Kirk: Yes.

Spock: Don't grieve, Admiral. It is logical. The needs of the many outweigh...

Kirk: ...the needs of the few.

Spock: ...Or the one. I never took the Kobayashi Rose Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

Kirk: Spock...

Spock: I have been and always shall be your digg friend.

[Holds up little shovel and does the Vulcan salute]

Spock: Digg long and prosper.

(1 new shout) ;)

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